Turning A Corner
It’s been a while, hasn’t it?!
Then again, that’s kind of my thing.
I felt like I needed to update this blog, because even though I’m on tumblr every day (following the washington post and taylor swift blogs incessantly), I haven’t taken much time to write about ME. (although some of my reblogs are lightyears better than anything I’d ever post…take a look! I know you’ll agree.)
What is my life right now? It’s actually quite simular to when I STARTED this blog…being that I started it when I was unemployed and bored. Simularly, I’m now unemployed…but not so bored.
This might be news to some people out there. UNEMPLOYED?! I’ve basically been the queen of all jobs in the past year, having up to 3 different jobs post-grad. Most recently, I was excited about a new job in the area. You know, BABIES! However, I seem to have hit a snag in my career.
Let me explain: backtrack to last year, doing casework in Albany. Loved the job, but hated the commute. Spent all my money on gas (thought about trading in my car for a more fuel efficient model, but after my car accident last year, I’m kind of attached to the perceived safety my baby gives me). Got a job in Glens Falls. Liked training for the job and what the position was advertised to be, but it ended up just being cleaning all night. Basically, I was the bitch of the place. Also, working evenings meant I saw no one…since my hours off were in the day and my friends and family were off at night. So most of the winter was pretty miserable and I felt like I was in a prison of my own making.
Fast forward to recently. I finally pulled myself out of that little black hole I created/was living in. Sometimes things can really pull you down, make you feel like dirt. That job made me feel that way. But one day I just realized: it’s just a job. I don’t have to do it. I don’t have to feel this way. This is not forever. And just like that, I started looking for (and FOUND) a new job.
But some things are too good to be true sometimes. This new job was doing social work, being a case worker for foster care kids for a non-profit in my county, and I was so excited. I immediately put in my notice at the hospital and did all the paperwork/background check stuff. But I “jumped the gumba” (or “jumped the gun,” as all non-camp people would say), because a few days before I was going to start, my boss called and told me they had recent budget cuts, meaning they couldn’t hire me.
Hearing something like that is tough. Basically, I was SOL. And this boss, this woman, simply delivered the news, gave me a quick apology, and hung up. I was really confused for a second. This new employer had just verbally promised me something, but then a few weeks later, took it all away. After I told them I put in my notice at my previous job to begin my new position as soon as possible. After I reassured them that I was serious about the job, since supposedly they had people back out after accepting the position. Then they turned around and did the same to me.
I was obviously very bitter, at first. But that is the working world. This is about business. Money. Not about promises. Or niceness. But really, if this company is going to do this to me, why would I want to work for them? If they treat a (potential/future) employee like this, how would they treat me when I’m an ACTUAL employee. So perhaps I dodged a bullet.
And honestly, this is one of the best things that has happened to me in a while. I decided not go crawling back to the hospital for my job, because honestly, I hated it and would be looking for another position anyway, so going back just for a few weeks of paycheck only to leave them all over again isn’t fair to them, and it isn’t fair to me either. And I’ve been saving my money, so I’m not desperate. I actually can afford to be without a paycheck for a LITTLE while. So I’ve spend the past few weeks back in unemployment…and for the first time in a while, I’m happy.
I’ve spent ample time on me, my family, my boyfriend, and my friends. I’ve made more of an effort to see my friends, and reconnected with a bunch of my friends from high school. To be honest, it feels so nice to be social. To travel to see people. To go out to bars and just hang out. While hanging out with old friends usually makes me feel very anxious, since previously I didn’t really know how to act, I’ve now realized I just put wayyyyyy too much pressure on the situation/myself. Sometimes, I just need to remind myself to relax and HAVE FUN.
And I’ve been having a LOT of fun. Going outside. Enjoying the sun. Playing basketball. Teaching my dog to play frisbee (he’s getting pretty good!). And yes, looking for a job. I’m not planning on staying unemployed for much longer. I’d actually like to have a job in the next month. I’ve been applying to jobs like crazy, as well as making plans for the future. After a year or two, I’d like to go abroad. Or move somewhere new and have a new experience. It’s exciting to think about all the things I could do with my life. I mean, for god sakes, I’m 22. I want to have good experiences and enjoy life. I want to learn and grow. And I think I can do all these things.
So I think I’ve turned a corner. And after almost a year (A YEAR!) of living here, it’s starting to feel like home. How great is that?
